Dear Ibidem,
I was quite pleased to know you. From all the persons I’ve been pleasured to meet, you were one of the best. You were created from the purest motives. You were far from perfect but your attempts were sometimes really fantastic. I miss you as I write this. About a month ago you started to fall ill. Maybe it was before that. It seems like the rose petals you walked on became thorns. It seems that the cool clean air you breathed turned to black dust. I suppose the heaving and choking was too terrible to bear. I wish you tried to stay longer. I’ve only known you for one year.
How I miss you dear friend. You gave me hope in hopeless times and trust when the path ahead was in darkness. I know that you ultimately blame yourself for what led to your demise and the unhappiness of others. I know you tried to survive on the idea that it was your own failure that brought you into the spiral of madness. And I think you would still be here if you could have blamed yourself fairly. That was always your problem; you were happy blaming and hating yourself, but you couldn’t accept the notion of blaming others. Didn't you remember that I told you to stop having so much faith in humankind? Oh Ibidem, why didn’t you take my advice? Now I grieve your passing. I accept that it’s your time to go. And I think you leave as beautiful as you came. I wish that you did not leave me here alone. I’m so cold without you that the bleakness of a blizzard seems warmer. I’m so cold inside that if ice were inside me, it would shiver. But farewell old boy, I won’t bind you to this world by grieving you too long.
I miss your life, I miss you to death, and soon I’ll even miss your death. Life goes on without your friendship anyway. I don’t know what you would have told me. We never suffered when you were here. I shouldn’t call you friend, you are at least my brother, and you are at least me. So Ibidem, I shall call you Id. Pass lightly lovely spirit. I have great respect for you. Take with you all that you need from me, from this place, and remember to always love. I don’t think I ever told you that I love you. This I regret. I love you Id. You were too good for this world and far too good for me.
Let this letter serve as your v-obituary. Electronically you lived, electronically you shall die. Pass lightly, avoid the hells, and take with you a picture of her. At your request, on your deathbed, I have recorded your official last words. They follow:
“Maybe it was not about dying without true love but finding true love and losing it. It’s not as romantic as dying at the bottom of the ocean looking for pearls for Leah. But I still feel the same in my dreams. My dreams never end. I’ll hold this thorny rose until I have hands no more. Thank you for helping me sleep, brother. I need to live in my dreams now.”
I wipe away tears as I lay you down onto the knife that has already taken you. I don’t know why I had to be the one. It angers me. It makes me feel lonely and all alone. Give me this time Id. I am alone to find a new path. It’s an atrocity that I’m in control of this life. But I will do my best with the state of mind you left me. I will do my best with this reality you left me. You would have made your own path but I must find one that was already created. Ego is what I am. Rest now, close your eyes, relax as the darkness falls. I will always remember you. I am a better man for having met you. Thank you Id. I love you. Lights out. Goodnight for the last time old boy.
